Beyoncé - Freakum Dress

It's been a minute since I've dropped this hoe's name on a post. Well not really, but a week without Bouncy is like a lifetime, isn't it folks? If another blogger hasn't already slapped you upside the head with the info, B'Day: Deluxe Edition is ready to hit shelves next Tuesday along with the anthology of videos. I actually got a copy in early and the new tracks are really nice. Can't wait? Well, here is a taste of what's to come - Beyoncé's video for "Freakum Dress". Just try not to stare into her eyes. Mama Tina has a new spell implanted in these that can cause your cerebellum to disintergrate...true shit.

Special Delivery!

Okay, it's the moment you've all been waiting for. The Ray-J & Kim Sex Tape has been revealed. Yay, confetti, backflips and all that shit. I'm actually happy that the tape has finally leaked; not so much because I wanted to watch it, but moreso because I want people to see how boring it is so they will shut the hell up about it!

This garbage is NSFW and please don't be a pathetic bastard and play with yourself while watching it. Click here for the ride of your fuckin' life...

Negro Please!

“Every action generates an equal and opposite reaction. My statement about Christina Aguilera and Joss Stone was a reaction to an incident I care not to discuss in any forum, and while I may have felt justified, I do owe an apology to Christina, Joss and their families.

“The comments I made about Christina Aguilera and Joss Stone were purely an act of retaliation not of malice or cruel intent. As we all have our boiling points, I sincerely apologize as this is not my character nor should I have let anyone’s actions push me to this limit. I have let my family, friends, employees and business associates down with my actions."

I guess snorting cocaine is kind of like having unprotected sex; you may feel bold when you're doing it, but when you start itching you wanna beg for salvation. Don't try that boo-hoo shit now, nigga! You just have to learn that when a woman doesn't want you, she just doesn't want your ass. Diddy got over it and you can too.

NOOOO!

So, people have been tipping be on this rumor that Rakim may be packing up his Hefty bag and moving on over to Curtis Jackson's bosom as a new member of G-Unit. If this is true, then Hip-Hop not only died, but it resurrected itself and then commited suicide. First Katt Williams joins Dipset, then Michelle Branch supposedly jumped on the short bus with The Inc. - don't do this to us, Rakim. Just try busting freestyles over the intercom at Marshalls. You may go broke, but you'd have my respect.

Usher Feels Pretty!

Okay, normally I wouldn't defend this herb, but a lot of folk have been acting really silly about this picture. "Usher Has Gone Blonde!" they shriek. For the love of Ultra Sheen, you just saw some recent photos of the boy like a month ago with his usual fade, and we all know Jonetta did not make any miracle-grow haired babies. It's a wig used to cheer on an NBA player with a similar style! Drop the shit - thanks!

Dallas Austin On Joss Stone

If you haven't heard, Dallas Austin has been accusing a lot of female singers of sleeping with producers, including himself, for their beats. To that and the above video I say: Nigga, drink bleach. Nobody gives a rotisserie-grilled shit about you or Joss "Almost Black Enough" Stone.

I'll give you three good reasons why I don't believe anything Dallas Austin says:

A.) He sniffs cocaine in Africa.

B.) Joss, Christina Augilera, and Chili (all the women he's dogging) had previous relationships with him, but left for other men. Dick must've tasted like pickled sausage. Can you say "scorn"?

C.) The nigga sniffs cocaine! Would you believe a crackhead?

I Vote No

[ pic source ]

Oh, I won't stand for this shit. These Beyoncé stans need to attend praise and worship. Be' may be a role model for a lot of you women out there, but please don't try to transform into her. I got love for the big girls, however if you are a size 22 Piggly-Wiggly coupon-holder, you have no business squeezing into Dereon attire and doing backbends in front of your living room television. Get it together!

So Fresh, So Clean

Will Smith [has fit] his Los Angeles home with the latest Japanese restroom gadget. The movie star reveals his new “toy” affords him a hands-free toilet experience, and cleans him up afterwards. He says, “They’ve installed these toilets from Japan. They’re paper free. Wherever you sit on the toilet, somehow it hits the bull’s eye perfectly. It cleans and then dries you. It is just water and then air.” [ source ]

Technology is starting to get a little out-of-hand. Who the hell installs a booty wash inside their bathroom? Does it wax the crack too, Will? Hmm? Is that how you get your nut busted, Mr. Smith? I think Jada should confiscate this little "toy" from you before it starts to effect the children.

Spit Yo' Game!

A taxi driver swears to the following: Last week, he was driving Terrence Howard , who's been dating Naomi Campbell, and "a tall blond woman. He was talking very loudly and said, 'I want you to pop the zits on my back with your teeth,' and then leaned forward and yelled at me, 'And you can tell Page Six!' Nasty." Well, the driver told us. But a rep for Howard says it must have been a doppelganger, as Howard "was in New York but wasn't in a taxi." [ source ]

See, The-One-We-Call-Slickback is a professional at sex talk. He knows just what to say to make a woman's coochie quiver. There is no need for his reps to deny it. Pimples weren't the only things popping in the back of that cab; freaks!

50 Cent's Album Release Date

Bucky Fifty used a segment on Skyblog to announce to his fans that his album, Before I Self-Destruct, will be in stores on June 19th. Yippy-Ki-Yo-Ki-Yay!

The only reason I posted this video is because I thought it was funny how Curtis' face is the same black as the "Records" marquee behind him. All you can see is teeth - Cheshire Cat style.

I Vote No

God is good, because if syphilis was transferred through the air, New Pork York would have us all in the free clinic. Count your blessings, people.

Tiffany and the Biggum twins worked Blender Magazine this month looking a good mess. I heard that Sister Patterson can be found in the outtakes making it clap with a baboon skin G-string on - milking these 15 minutes for what they're worth.

Get Over It

Jennifer Hudson might be letting her Oscar win for Best Supporting Actress in "Dreamgirls" go to her head.

Besides tangling last week with Simon Cowell of "American Idol," the show that gave the ungrateful diva her big break, the singer tried to back out of performing at Saturday's taping of the Soul Train Awards show in Los Angeles.

"Jennifer called Friday and said she couldn't make it," said our source.

"Soul Train" producer Don Cornelius immediately called Clive Davis, the legendary J Records mogul who created the careers of Whitney Houston, Alicia Keyes and dozens of other artists.

"Clive called Jennifer and read her the riot act. He said, 'Get you're ass out to L.A.' and then hung up on her."

The strong talk from her de facto boss evidently worked because "she showed up." [ source ]

Sister Mahogany and the local youth choir also had group tickets to the show. I was offered a pass and the front seat of the bus, but I couldn't make it either. I had to wash my hair.

Jennifer isn't being big-headed by not wanting to attend the Soul Train Awards. Nobody wants to go to that raggedy ass excuse for a ceremony.

Oh Bitch, Please!

A new "American Idol" won't be crowned until May, but there's one competition Sanjaya Malakar has already won -- the Halle Berry Lookalike Contest!

While Sanjaya's vocal talents have people calling him the next Antonella Barba (minus the scantily clad pics--we hope), there's no denying the 17-year-old has Halle's Oscar-winning tousled brown locks. Best Performance by a Singer with a Curling Iron. [ source ]

TMZ.com has Halle Berry fucked up! Now, I don't watch American Idol anymore, so I don't know who this Salami Mac dude is, but I know for damn sure he does not resemble my girl, Halle. He looks more like an exotic version of Johnny Tsunami.

Curtis Pt.2

video c/o Miss Info

These rappers need to recognize that beef isn't what it used to be. You can't just make regular diss records on your enemies anymore. The hardcore niggas go about things in a new way for '07 - video disses. I know you see it, and if you aren't out taping footage of your gun-toting crew, big-booty lesbians, and flashy jewelry to sync with your diss records, then you just ain't hip to the new hot street shit of today.

As you can see, Cam'Ron has no problem keeping up with hip-hop trends. I'm currently wrapping up a Mrs. Fields cookie and a golden star to send over to Diplomat Records just for him. Hard work should be rewarded.

Wild Dogs

March 5, 2007 -- ONE Bryant Park Hotel guest got a surprise greeting when he returned to his room Thursday night to find Serena Williams' two tiny pooches napping on his bed. "Serena checked into a suite with a terrace, and the guest staying next door to her left his door open a crack," said our snitch. "When he returned to his room, he was greeted by Serena's two dogs sleeping on his bed." It seems the pups jumped the planter box sepa rating the terraces and squeezed into the other guest's room. Luckily, they didn't leave any other surprises behind. [ source ]

Serena is lucky those mutts didn't get barbecued that night. You never know. I say, if you can't control your pets, you shouldn't own them. Suppose Roscoe follows you to church and takes a shit on Sister Johnson's Sunday shoes. Things like this can happen!

Kanye's Oversea Order

LONDON (AP) — If Kanye West were to walk into the British Raj's dining room and order dinner, it would cost the rapper about $17.50. But since the restaurant is delivering — from Wales to New York — it's going to cost a bit more. For a feast of onion bhajees, chapati breads, biryanis, pappadums, a specially prepared fish dish and vegetables on the side, the bill will top $3,900, plus travel and accommodation for the restaurant's head chef.

"I was horrified when I heard about this request because of the distance involved," said the restaurant's head waiter, Tarik Mohammed. "It's a long way, and our reputation is on the line. We are doing every thing to make sure the food gets there safely and every thing is aboveboard." [ source ]

Once again Kanye gives me reason to dislike his personality. It's hard enough to get Papa John's and Canton to deliver some grub to my house and they're set up 5 miles away. This nigga is demanding food from another continent. Lord knows if I was Tarik, I would've told Kanye to kiss my black ass and go buy a McChicken.

Throw Them Legs Up!

NSFW

So, an anonymous person decided to hold onto some old footage of Trina from her skeezer days. Now the clip is making its way around the net. Yes, Trina used to be a stripper/whore way back when. So were Eve, Blu Cantrell, and Khia probably sold a bit of decomposed ass herself. Not a big deal at all.

Try not to watch this at work, please. Thanks, Info!

Cam'ron HP Commerical Parody

This clip made me smile.

Then I realized it was made by some fool with way too much time on his hands. The smile faded away at that point.

Kelis Arrested

Singer Kelis was arrested early Friday morning in Miami Beach after screaming racial obscenities at two female police officers who were posing as prostitutes.

The officers were working an undercover operation in South Beach, when cops say Kelis started screaming racial slurs at the women. She continued screaming and rushed toward them, and had to be restrained by friends, a police report said. According to the report, Kelis' "actions caused people walking by to stop and form a crowd. The sidewalk was blocked by the disturbance, causing people to walk in the street and causing traffic to stop."

Kelis, the wife of rapper Nas, was charged with two misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and for resisting arrest.

A rep for Kelis had no comment. [ source ]

This story needs an update, because I'm extremely confused. What was Kelis doing arguing with these cops-in-hoe's-clothing? Smells like a set-up to me...no wait, that's vodka. Take sips next time, Mrs Jones.

Chris Brown Not In Child Porn

Okay, so I'm sure that most of you have heard about Chris Brown's Sidekick situation by now. The thought of CB's dick pics being sold on the internet kind of upset a lot of folks (mostly because they wanted access for free).

Well just as I expected, Chris' management has stepped in to let everyone know that the nude photos being sold are not genuine. The 17-year old's Sidekick was never hacked into and he does not have any pornographic photos of himself stored in it.

Sorry, ladies. You're going to have to work harder if you wanna tickle Chris' pickle.

Beyoncé - Upgrade U

Harpy visited the set of 106 & Park yesterday to premiere the videos for her new singles "Uprgrade U" and "Beautiful Liar" . We couldn't let Jennifer Hudson soak up too much attention, now could we? (I kid)

I kind of expected to see Beyoncé rocking a fitted cap and a miniskirt in the "Upgrade U" vid for some reason. Instead, I got a couple shots of her biting on things and jacking a few of Ciara's moves. Nice try, Lady Camel.