Make That 101 Problems

"I've been stalking Jay-Z more than three years," Katrina says matter-of-factly. "Jay-Z is the CEO of Def Jam [Records]. He's a big celebrity. In my mind, he's more than that. He is just my dream. I can't seem to think of anybody else. He is my all and all." Katrina buys every magazine Jay-Z is in, has called him over 300 times and e-mails him 200 times a day, but he has never responded. She even had a T-shirt made up with Jay-Z's and her picture, that she says she sleeps in every night. "Jay-Z's real name is Shawn Corey Carter. When I'm writing songs, I would just call him Shawn. I make up my own songs and leave them on his voice mail," she shares. "I went to a Web site that has gossip, and they believe anything you say. I e-mailed them a letter, saying I was Jay-Z's ex. I also went as far as saying Jay-Z liked me better than [his girlfriend] Beyonce. He's in love with me," she reveals. "Everything was made up. . . "

Katrina's friends have pointed out that she'll never be able to take Jay-Z from Beyonce. "I don't care. To me, I am Beyonce. I am every man's dream. I'm accomplishing it by just looking in the mirror and saying, 'Jay-Z's going to be my man,'" she says. Katrina explains that when she heard a rumor that Jay-Z proposed to Beyonce, she snapped and tore all his pictures up. "I want to see Beyonce and Jay-Z one day in public and just go there and snatch her weave out."

You know we're living in our last days when bitches are snatching weaves out of each other's heads over camel love. Actually, seeing Beyonce get her wig ripped clean off of her scalp by a crazy black girl may be all the entertainment I need for a while.

Extra, Extra: Jay-Z is supposedly working with Coca-Cola to re-launch the Cherry Coke soda. The hell if I know why. I guess comebacks are the hot shit of the decade.