Osama & Whitney Sittin' In A Tree...

Okay, by now you might have heard about Osama Bin Laden's secret crush. One of the psycho's former sex slaves, Kola Boof (Arab for Karrine Steffans), revealed that the man is smitten with Whitney Houston.

He said that he had a paramount desire for her and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting.

He said he wanted to give her a mansion he owned in a suburb of Khartoum. He would say how beautiful she is, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband - Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have women’s husbands killed.

Kola added: “He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives.” [ StarPulse.com ]

So, why the hell is America still at war with this dude? Why don't we just give him Whitney in exchange for peace? It's not like she's seeing anyone. Plus, Being Osama Bin Laden would be a very interesting reality show. Somebody call George.