Lionel Is Feeling Himself

Soul great Lionel Richie fancies himself as a porn star because he is so good in bed. The hitmaker insists his bedroom expertise inspires the love songs he is famous for.

He tells men's magazine Blender, "I am a legend in my own mind, the greatest porn star I know. You can't be a love songwriter and not be the greatest porn star." [ source ]

I'm going to have to hop on Ebay and place a bid in for an Indian dreamcatcher. I need something to keep the images of wrinkly gray genitals out of my head as I sleep. Lionel, I know you trying to make a comeback and all, which is nice, but you aren't Mr. Marcus. Keep that nasty shit a mystery.