Tales from the Nipplegate

[click pic for larger view]

Okay, so I'm doing my usual celebrity manhunt, when I stopped by the pages of Oh No They Didn't!. What more do I see than Mariah Carey up in some hanging-baby-Blanket balcony with her areolas posing for the 'razzi. This bitch is on some kind of advanced futuristic cocaine - vaporizing them brain cells one after the other.

Furious Flicks

The Good

India.Arie @ The Third Annual UNICEF Snowflake Ball

The Bad

Rihyonce' Knowles @ Selfridges in Manchester

The Messy

Ashanti @ Sucker Free on MTV

Lord, can someone pass Ashanti a tall glass of lemon scented bleach on the rocks, please? I'm ready for her to get it over with.

Oh, I see Rihanna has finally found her calling as an annoying employee in the perfume department of a major retailer. Wow, I always wanted to backslap one of them bitches. How convenient.

Snoop Gets His Ass Arrested Again!

Attention all California coons: If you wear your hair in a perm and have a lingering smell of nikkapoochie floating from your body on the regular, stay in the house. The fuzz is after all of you.

Rapper Snoop Dogg was arrested Tuesday night for allegedly possessing drugs and a firearm.

Detectives from the Burbank Police Department served a search warrant on Snoop, whose real name is Calvin Broadus, outside NBC studios in Burbank at approximately 7:30 p.m. this evening. Police say they found the rapper in possession of cocaine, a firearm and a large amount of marijuana. He was also cited for allegedly having a false compartment in his vehicle.
[ source ]

Oh my goodness. Get a weed/weapon-carrier, Snoop! I know you have some broke ass cousin who will tote around your incriminatory foolishness for $3.75/hr and a weekly Snickers bar. I mean, don't we all?

The War of the Skeezers

Oh, Lord. The lacefronts are about to hit the fan! Champion cum-guzzler, Buffie the Body, recently shot an extra special pictorial for KING Magazine's 5th anniversay issue. Also along for the cover shoot were backshot veterans Trina, Mya, Reagan Gomez-Preston, and Melyssa Ford. Well, it seems Mel' and Buff' didn't exactly enjoy each other's company during the development. When KING asked Buffie how the shoot went, the video hoe stated the following:

Buffie: First off let me say that being in th presence of Mya, Trina, and Reagan made me feel like I've come far. They are so sweet and all have inviting attitudes. They're genuinely nice, sweet, professional women. It was an honor to be able to work with them.

KING: That's all well and good, but you're forgetting someone.

Buffie: [sigh] Like I said, those three women are very professional. I've never had any problems with KING since I've been in this industry - ya'll always been real with me, so I'm not gonna try and fuck up ya'll shoot. And I don't need to mention the person's name the people will figure it out themselves.

KING: Let's see, there was you, Mya, Trina, and Reagan. So that would leave...

Buffie: Put it like this: There's always one person who wants to be the class clown. I've been modeling for almost two years, and I've never experienced something so unprofessional before...

KING: You're preaching to the choir. But let's be real: You're a video model who blew up in an unprecedented way.

Buffie: Yep. I got thrown into this and rose to the top quick as hell. So of course they should feel a certain way about me, but why even put it out there and let it be known that you're a hater? You're finding it hard to deal with what another model is doing...my success. But it's nice to know that I have that much of an impact on females, that it makes them act out of their character - basically, act stupid.

No word yet on what actually went down between the two gonorrhea patients beautiful ladies, but I'm sure it was some petty, "you stole my MAC make-up/I wanted to wear those panties/you ain't that hot anyway, bitch" foolishness.

Hip Hop Is Dead Cover

Wait a minute. What is this I see? Is it...creativity?

Wow, an album cover that had effort put into it and features a photo that actually relates to the title. Nas, you scoundrel; you didn't have to go to the trouble.

Rihanna in Concert

The gossip game has been slow these past few days, thus I'm here...looking at this bitch. Rihanna wrapped up a concert in Lisbon, Portugal on Wednesday, performing the usual cunty routines she does when she hits any and every stage. It's amazing how a little bit of fan work can cause one to exude such raw emotion, as you can plainly see in these photos.

WHOA!

You can't tell me that if I slapped some glasses on his face, Jayceon wouldn't look like Steve Urkel in this picture. Wow, 7th grade was harsh for The Game. This is going to be Exhibit C in the "Game is Gay" case. It looks like he and Timothy used to play Touch and Feel in the boys bathroom from time to time. My opinion, though.

Can I Take Ya' Order?

Wacky ass Tyra Banks...she's like a box of damn chocolates. According to rumors, she and Janet Jackson are looking to get hired at McDonald's. Don't worry, this is all a zany new ploy for Ty-Ty's talk show.

The concept came up after Jackson told Banks she'd really like to experience what it's like to "work the window at McDonald's" during a recent appearance on the former model's talk show. And Banks is now determined to join the pop superstar for an upcoming TV taping.

Jackson says, "I would love to do that... I think we would be good."

Now, Ms. Banks knows that her big ass head is not going to fit inside that tiny window. Then, Janet is going have Jermaine riding around the drive-thru all day asking for a McChicken with a side of badoosie. That episode is going to be a mess.

Cassie's Moves Foward

[ spotted @ Hip & Pop ]

I'll admit it - Cassie is definitely a fighter. After all the negative publicity thrown her way, she is still determined to make it in the music industry. Here she is sharpening up her vocal skills (a very necessary task in her case) with her new coach, Ron Grant. Guess what...she actually sounds like a singer. Jiminy Cricket, I guess wishing on stars really does work. The only problem that I think she'll have to face in the near future is getting the fans to take her seriously and give her another chance. I mean, once you suck a penis, your fanbase is bound to make a considerable drop.

There Is A God

It turns out that the rumors of Mike Tyson working as a prostitute are false. Heidi Fleiss' publicist, Charles Lago, has stepped foward and with the help of The Las Vegas Review Journal, he is letting the world know that the story is nothing but "a ridiculous hoax". Let the church say AMEN!

How Predictable

Oh Lord! That boy Federline can't even give away tickets to his damn shows. Poor thing.

"Friday night at the Frank Black show at House of Blues on Sunset, the staff at the queue outside were trying to give away tickets for Kevin Federline's November 22 concert there. Several of them had large stacks of tickets and were pleading (with little success) for incoming concert-goers to take a few tickets." [ source ]

I almost feel bad for his ass. First his album goes Wood selling like 6,000 copies, then his coke-head wife leaves him, now he has the rest of the banjo posse begging passersby to come watch him butcher rap music. It's enough to make you turn on Lifetime and shed a tear.

Go 'Head Girl!

photo via C+D

All I'm saying is, it seems that Big Tigger likes his daisies kissed by the sunshine.

...or maybe he just farted.

Omarion - Ice Box

This is another case of a a great song backed by a stupid video. Then again, I wasn't really expecting a visual masterpiece from Omarion. Like, can we stop with the chest popping? All that gyrating is uncalled for. Your hips do lie! On the bright side, I'm sure O can throw this dramatic ass video on his resumé when he auditions for a role on One Life to Live; better yet, make that Passions, because Solange is looking like the damn Blair Witch running around the woods. Bitch, don't you have diapers to change? Go home!

Apology Not Accepted

If you haven't already heard, comedian Michael Richards caused a major riot at the Laugh Factory comedy club in West Hollywood last Friday, when he angrily shouted various racist comments at two black men. Allegedly, the guys interrupted Richards' show, which upset him enough to scream out "nigger" dozens of times.

Now, the old Seinfeld cast member is attempting to make an apology to the men and all of his fans on The Late Show with David Letterman. The episode, which should broadcast tonight, features a quote from Michael saying:

“…You know, I’m really busted up over this and I’m very, very sorry to those people in the audience, the blacks, the Hispanics, whites – everyone that was there that took the brunt of that anger and hate and rage and how it came through, and I’m concerned about more hate and more rage and more anger coming through, not just towards me but towards a black/white conflict.

Whatever. Just stay as far away from black people as possible Kramer. The next day this bastard steps foot inside of a Church's Chicken or a Denny's will be the first day he recieves a 35 man ass-whooping out of this world.

Iron Mike Turns Prostitute

Former boxing champion Mike Tyson is to become a male escort after agreeing to work at legendary Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss' new legalized brothel for women. Fleiss bought 60 acres of land in Nevada, and his work is scheduled to begin on Heidi's Stud Farm.

She has high hopes for Tyson, once heavyweight champion of the world - despite the fact he is a convicted rapist.

She says, "I told him, 'You're going to be my big stallion.' It's every man's fear that their girlfriend will go for Mike Tyson."

Tyson, 40, adds, "I don't care what any man says, it's every man's dream to please every woman - and get paid for it." [ source ]

I thought the OJ Simpson story was bad, but this shit is mindboggling. Why would any woman request a romantic night alone with Mike Tyson? All his bitches are gonna be going home with chipped teeth, swollen eyes, and one and a half ear. Pray for the fate of the world, please.

.. New Music ..

Play Me: Timbaland - Give It To Me (feat. Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake)

This is a new record off of Timbaland's upcoming solo album and boy have I heard a lot about it. Guess who's running his lilly white mouth again - Justin "You Took My Dogs" TimberFake. JT made a few subliminal shots at both Janet Jackson and Prince on his verse of the song. Check out his lyrics.

Could you speak up and stop the mumbling/I don't think you're getting clear/Sitting on the top it's hard to hear you from way up here/I saw you tryin to act cute on tv "just let me clear the air"/We missed you on the charts last week/Damn that's right, you wasn't there.

If sexy never left, then why's everybody on my shi-it-it?/Don't hate on me just because you didn't come up with it/So if you see us in the club go on and walk the other way/Cuz our run will never be over, not at least until we say.

Okay, so I'm on my way to Los Angeles to plant a bomb in this whiteboy's scalp. Who wants to come? I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but this punk bitch has been talking a whole lot of trash about other artists ever since SexyBack. How dare you disrespect two black music legends who bascially paved the way for you! If it wasn't for Janet and Prince your ass would still be sticking Blow Pops up Lance Bass' bootyhole for recreation. This is what happens when you give wigger a ghetto pass. I'm out to destroy you Justin!

Monica - Dozen Roses

spotted @ Crunk & Disorderly

I'm offended by this song. All I'm saying is, if a girl tells me that I remind her of her Gucci shoes and that we're tighter than the jeans on her ass, she's probably calling me gay. Monica is rude as hell. Suppose I tell my girlfriend that I remind her of a Corona beer bottle or locker room sweat, and that we're tighter than the condom on my dick. I'd get a double backhand slap. Sheesh!

.. New Music ..

Play Me: Nas - Black Republican (feat. Jay-Z)
This is the record that the world has been waiting on. It's off of Nas' upcoming album, Hip-Hop Is Dead, and yes, it's hot! This clip is only a radio rip, so the quality is poor, but you can still get a grip of what the track is hitting with. I can't wait for the Nas album to drop in December.










Play Me: The Game - Wouldn't Get Far (feat. Kanye West)
This is also a hot song. Although I can't stand The Game's personality, I have to admit that the brother knows how to make a decent record. "Wouldn't Get Far" is basically about industry hoes, groupies, and golddiggers, so of course Kanye had to grace the track. Jayceon was not afraid to name names either. Ooh!










Play Me: Cherish - He Said, She Said (feat. Nephu)
Excuse me while I yawn. This is an unreleased track by Cherish and it's pretty damn boring. I don't think these ladies will even see a sophomore album. No wonder they're feeling unappreciated.

Here We Go Again

PETA can sit and take a breather from chasing down Beyoncé over her fur fetish, because P!NK is ready to take her turn at chomping at homegirl. Check out what the pop star had to say:

"(Beyoncé) is a bitch! I only hope she gets bit on the ass by whatever animal she wears. Some of the practices are so cruel and as a celebrity you have a responsibility to think about the message you're sending out by wearing fur. People will think it's ok or cool, but it's not."

Alright, not that I'm condoning the usage of fur, but let's be serious. Beyoncé isn't the only celebrity who wears the stuff. Why isn't anyone cursing out Cam'ron, Wendy Williams, or Kimora Lee? Anyway, I'm sure Be' is somewhere sipping on some mimosa while Mama Tina is setting up her plan to burn P!NK at the stake.

Captain Super Save-a-Ho

Cam'ron and Jim Jones are still riding the Def Jam all-stars like mechanical bulls. Reports say that the Dipset frontmen are in the studio recording another diss record aimed at both Jay-Z and Nas, but here's the kicker: They plan on adding Nas' nasty ex-wife, Carmen Bryan, to the track, just for a little sting. In addition to that low-blow, Cam and Jim are allegedly supporting Carmen on the publishing of her book, Sex, Drugs, & Hip-Hop, by making sure to purchase 1,000 copies each.

Okay, if you really want to help Carmen, what you need to do is dump that bitch in some disinfectant and drop her ass off at church. Ballin!

BET Hip-Hop Awards - Red Carpet

Ludacris ; Flava Flav & Deelishis ; Big Kitten ; Monica ; Loafers

Wendy Williams ; Ying Yang Twinz ; Keyshia Cole & mom ; Little Bitch Blue ; Katt Williams

Photos from yesterday's BET Hip-Hop Awards are spreading all over the Internet, but I'm only posting ten of the celebs that I kinda-sorta-maybe give a damn about. I'm still pissed that BET didn't send me my tickets for the show, but I probably would have been shot at or stabbed, so I'm good. I heard a brawl nearly went down between the show's host Katt Williams and co-comedian Mike Epps at Club 112 last night. I'm interested in finding out why. Was it over jealousy or late weed money? Let's keep that in mind.

Diddy TV

Here's a clip of Diddy making a guest appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last week. You have to check out the spoof he did of Faith Hill and Kanye West's bitter reactions to the awards they recently lost. It wasn't really funny, but it was cold-blooded, and I like that! The rest of the show was nothing new.

Gwen Stefani - Wind It Up

spotted @ Straight Outta NYC

Am I wrong for saying that I'd smash Gwen Stefani in a heartbeat? I just got a sudden urge today. Hmm...whatever?

Well, my newfound crush on the pop star isn't going to give her a free ride through The Fury. I love the song, but I don't like this video. It's too quirky for me and the fact that Gwen and her cronies raided Janice Combs' wig crypt for props is just plain wrong. I would have liked to see Pharrell make somewhat of an appearence in the video as well. I did, however, enjoy the choreography, which I had been looking foward to seeing. So, Mother Stefani could have done better. I'll be watching...from the front and the back.

Beyoncé to Play Gay?

I'm hearing rumors that Beyoncé will be starring in an upcoming film as Eva Longoria's lesbian lover. The hell?

The new film Tipping The Velvet that tells the tale of an 1890s music hall star and her lover, will see Sofia Coppola wearing the director's cap."Yes it's true, we're talking about doing that. It's such a wonderful novel, a beautiful love story," Contactmusic quoted Longoria as saying.To which Knowles added: "We've had Brokeback Mountain so the time is right for this divine novel to get the same treatment." [ Destiny Vault ]

I'm not sure if I believe this mess. I highly doubt Tina "Wicked Witch" Knowles will allow her oldest daughter to play a pearl-sucker onscreen. I wouldn't have a problem watching that flick, but this rumor just doesn't sound plausible. Besides, Be' can do way better than Eva Mangoria's corkhead ass.

Gerald Levert 1966 - 2006

R&B star, Gerald Levert, passed away due to an apparent heart attack in his sleep on November 10, 2006; he was 40 years old. Sister 2 Sister magazine reported that Gerald and his father, Eddie Levert of 70's group The O'Jays, had just returned from a 10-day trip to South Africa where they had met with Nelson Mandela. [ source ]

Rest in Peace to one of the best R&B artists to ever live. You will be missed Gerald.

BOWLIN!

Jim Jones ; Jim Jones & Ed Lover ; Ed Lover ; DJ Lazy K & Jha Jha

Peep these flicks of the Power 105.1 bowling party with Jim Jones. Capo loves to hit the bowling alley, but if you've seen his last DVD, A Day in the Fast Life, then you know he's not very good at it.

BTW: How old is Jha Jha? Bitch, looks like she's pushing 86.

Diddy & Kim on Essence Cover

Is is just me or does anyone else think that Kim Porter looks like a sea monster? Let me stop.

Sean "Diddy" Combs and his baby mama, Kim, are gracing the cover of this month's Essence Magazine. Inside there will be talk about their oncoming twin babies, infidelity, the rumors regarding J.Lo, and why the nigga won't supply her with a wedding ring.

"She deserves to get married, but I’m just not ready."

What are you waiting for? Your first pair of Depends?

The magazine hits newsstands next week.

Pimp Down!

Katt Williams was arrested yesterday at Los Angeles International Airport for carrying a stolen concealed weapon.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ the arrest occurred at 3 p.m. in Terminal 5. Williams, a popular comedian who recently starred in his own HBO stand-up comedy special, was stopped at the security checkpoint. Security officers found a concealed weapon in his carry-on luggage. The LAPD was called and Williams, who is also a popular rapper, was arrested. Cops determined the concealed weapon was stolen. They also found three additional weapons in luggage that Williams had already checked in. [ source ]

You dumb bastard. Katt must have been smoking some of that Arabian Camel-back weed, because I don't know any right-minded person who would walk into an airport with a weapon - a stolen weapon, at that. I bet security was having a ball shoving rods up this nigga's ass. You're still funny though, man!

.. Sit Down ..

"I already leaked my album. I already leaked my shit so niggas know what it is now. All they got to wait for is the dirty version. You gotta do that. You gotta give people a sample. It's like selling crack in the 'hood, man. Anybody that ever sold drugs in the hood knows you gotta give a nigga a taste before they buy. I got a formula. ~ The Game on why he leaked The Doctor's Advocate


Someone call Dr. Jenkins LA Institute For The Dumb and pull up Jayceon's transcripts, please. I'm convinced that this nigga is a dropout. He acts like he has his whole career down to a science, when in fact he's just acting like an ass. We all know you want a second taste of 50's pre-cum, but all this ignorance is causing me immense fury. Oh, well. Makes for good posts, I guess. Go back to Cali, Game...and take this bitch with you.